You know you're from Igloo when . . . . .


. . . you buy your whiskey at a drive up window.
. . . you slap the bottom of a new bottle of whiskey to "break the seal."
. . . you crack open a brand new fifth of whiskey and throw the cap away.
. . . a mixed drink is dumping out three-fourths of a bottle of soda and re-filling it with whiskey.
. . . a hunting trip always ends up in Ardmore at Hartman's Bar.
. . . the local tavern has an out-house out back.
. . . you can tell who's inside the bar by the vehicles parked out front.
. . . your idea of a fun is drinking beer and eating pickled eggs.
. . . your car has brown barf streaks running down the sides from the windows.
. . . you have memorized every word printed on a can of Gluke Stite.
. . . to really get knee-walking drunk involves Ever Clear.
. . . you go to parties at places like Red Canyon, One Mile, Gull Hill, Rocky Ford, or Soske's Dam.
. . . you order drinks at the bar using the microphone on your Texeco Fire Chief Speaker Helmet.
. . . you are drinking at the Stockman's Bar. You look up at the mounted deer head on the wall and it's smiling at you with a teethy grin.
. . . you are drinking at the Second Avenue Bar and decide to go to the Stockman's Bar down the street. The bartender closes the bar and goes with you.
. . . you drink a shot of whiskey and throw the next shot on the wall.
. . . you observe the head bobbing up and down of a lone individual walking down the middle of the road in the pre-dawn light wearing only one shoe.
. . . your parents find out you were drunk and blame your friends.
. . . your typical night out is watching tumbleweeds roll down the street.
. . . your annual trip out of town is to the "Days of 76" in Deadwood.
. . . you impress your friends by the distance and force of your projectile vomit.
. . . payday is five in a row without tilting the machine.
. . . you put peanuts in your pepsie.
. . . you blow your nose in your hand and wipe it on your Levis.
. . . horses are tied to a hitchin post out front of the school
. . . the pant legs of your Levis are rolled up in a cuff.
. . . you hammer bottle caps into the frame of your front porch to make it look nice.
. . . you've totaled every car you've ever owned.
. . . nobody knows your real name.
. . . you go on a hunting trip even though you only have one bullet.
. . . you go to a picnic and nobody brings food.
. . . you poke holes in the muffler to make your car sound like a hot-rod.
. . . you pick up your date at Hog Corner.
. . . there is a variety of girls underwear stuffed under the front seat of your car.
. . . you go fishing and it takes you five days to get there
. . . you know how to pronounce PIERRE correctly.
. . . you can walk thru town in 3 minutes.
. . . all your neighbors have the same last name.
. . . you know how to play " PUMP PUMP PULLAWAY ".
. . . you don't know the name of all your cousins.
. . . you think making $5000 a year puts you in the top 5% of wage earners.
. . . you can still fill up your gas tank for less than $10.
. . . your home town is no longer in existence.
. . . you think Angastora Dam is one of the oceans of the world.
. . . Allie Manke is one of your heroes.
. . . you think Edgemont is a big city.
. . . you can't name any of your neighboring States.
. . . you "hump ammo" for a living.
. . . you are related to more than half the town.
. . . your car breaks down outside of town and news of it reaches back to town before you do.
. . . there's a tornado warning and the whole town is outside watching for it.
. . . the local gas station sells live bait.
. . . you're on a first name basis with the county sheriff.
. . . your mayor is also your garbage hauler, barber, and insurance salesman.
. . . you are walking knee-deep in snow.
. . . you leave your snow tires on year-round.
. . . your excuse for getting out of school is that you dropped your pen out the window.
. . . you talk with a friend about some big event you are going to attend, and by the end of the conversation you've decided you're both too broke to go.
. . . you know cow pies aren't made of beef.
. . . you consider a romantic evening driving through Dairy Delite and renting a video on "How to Skin a Deer."
. . . you'll skip your cousin's funeral for the first day of deer season.
. . . you listen to "Paul Harvey" every day at noon.
. . . your nearest neighbor is in the next area code.
. . . it takes 30 seconds to reach your destination and it's clear across town.
. . . you wear your irrigation boots to church.
. . . if directions to your house include the words miles, silos, last or gravel.
. . . you have to turn a crank on the side of the telephone to make it work
. . . you don't answer the phone unless it rings a certain code like two longs and a short.
. . . you pick up the phone to make a call and an operator asks "Number please."
. . . you call the wrong number and talk to the person for an hour anyway.

Jeff Foxworthy on South Dakota
You might live in South Dakota if...

If "vacation" to you means going shopping for the weekend in Rapid City, Sioux Falls, Spearfish or Sturgis (while the kids swim at the Comfort Inn).
If parking your car for the night involves an extension cord.
If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 8 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by.
If you're proud that your state makes the national news primarily because it houses the coldest spot in the nation.
If you have ever refused to buy something because it's "too spendy".
If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March.
If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don't work there.
If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead.
If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time.
If your town has an equal number of bars and churches.
If you know how to correctly pronounce Pierre, Huron, and Ipswich.
If you think that ketchup is a little too spicy.
If you measure distance in hours.
If your family vehicle is a crew cab pickup.
If you know several people who have hit deer more than once.
If you often switch from "heat" to "A/C"in the same day and back again.
If you can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching.
If you see people wearing hunting clothes at social events.
If you've installed security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
If the largest traffic jam in your town centers around a high school basketball game.
If you carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them.
If there are 7 empty cars running in the parking lot at Wal-Mart at any given time.
If there are more people at work on Christmas Eve Day than on Deer gun Opener.
If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction.
If you can identify a southern or eastern accent.
If you consider Murdo exotic.
If your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your cottonwood.
If the sunbelt to you means Mitchell.
If a brat is something you eat.
If finding your misplaced car keys involves looking in the ignition.
If you go out to a fish fry every Friday.
If you find 0 degrees a little chilly.

House Of The Rising Sun
The Animals
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